So for my whole life I've had the luxury of being able to scoff judgmentally at people whose kids are acting up in public places. My high horse was a place of bliss. Alas, all that is about to change (well, in seven months anyway). Soon enough I'm sure I will be the beset and exhausted parent, struggling desperately to recreate the semblance of my shattered adult life by having a gee dee cup of coffee with a friend while my child screams bloody murder at the absolute top of his or her not inconsiderable vocal range.
It used to be that as I sat, pleasurably reading my novel and sipping my chamomile tea, and was suddenly interrupted by the shrieks of a misbehaving infant, I would picture standing up and giving its negligent parents a rather large and loud piece of my mind. I would indignantly tell them all about how they needed to either train their little monster or stay at home. I'd picture doing this in lineups at the grocery store, on airplanes during takeoff, and even at parks, where the wild hollering of children dissipates relatively quickly because of the open air.
Well, as they say, karma's a bitch.
I've seen the most intelligent and hip parents -- people far smarter and cooler than me -- reduced to five-second micro-conversations by the piercing insistence of a three year old's rambling commentary on Curious George's latest and greatest exploits: "George runs! George eats! George FUNNY MAWM!" I've seen the most energetic, active, lively people crumple into mush mere seconds after they've finally managed to get their toddler to sleep after a ferocious two hour struggle. No more sipping a fine red by the firelight and pondering the imponderables. More like gulping snatches of vodka over the sink while praying to your deity that you've actually cornered two lousy minutes of peace. Fun.
Ah yes, that'll be me and my commeupance. In truth, I'm starting to see how all those failing parents were doing an amazingly good job, and in truth, I'm starting to hope that I'm able to do even half the job they were. At least they were out and being sociable and moving around, something that I would consider a big accomplishment in a be-childrened state. All I have to say is that if you happen to cross paths with me and my screaming kid someday, I really am a totally awesome parent and I would never, ever judge if you were in my position...
It used to be that as I sat, pleasurably reading my novel and sipping my chamomile tea, and was suddenly interrupted by the shrieks of a misbehaving infant, I would picture standing up and giving its negligent parents a rather large and loud piece of my mind. I would indignantly tell them all about how they needed to either train their little monster or stay at home. I'd picture doing this in lineups at the grocery store, on airplanes during takeoff, and even at parks, where the wild hollering of children dissipates relatively quickly because of the open air.
Well, as they say, karma's a bitch.
I've seen the most intelligent and hip parents -- people far smarter and cooler than me -- reduced to five-second micro-conversations by the piercing insistence of a three year old's rambling commentary on Curious George's latest and greatest exploits: "George runs! George eats! George FUNNY MAWM!" I've seen the most energetic, active, lively people crumple into mush mere seconds after they've finally managed to get their toddler to sleep after a ferocious two hour struggle. No more sipping a fine red by the firelight and pondering the imponderables. More like gulping snatches of vodka over the sink while praying to your deity that you've actually cornered two lousy minutes of peace. Fun.
Ah yes, that'll be me and my commeupance. In truth, I'm starting to see how all those failing parents were doing an amazingly good job, and in truth, I'm starting to hope that I'm able to do even half the job they were. At least they were out and being sociable and moving around, something that I would consider a big accomplishment in a be-childrened state. All I have to say is that if you happen to cross paths with me and my screaming kid someday, I really am a totally awesome parent and I would never, ever judge if you were in my position...
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