A few times in the past, I've been taking the bus somewhere when a parent hops on with a kid who is losing it. It starts with some fussing and furtive attempts to hush him or her up, but the efforts to soothe seem to make things progressively worse. In no time the bus fills with inescapable wails of dejection.
My mind goes through a similar thought process each time I'm witnessing this. First I blame the parent. then I chastize myself for being so uncompassoinate. Then I start to wonder what it would be like if I was in that situation. Then I start to wonder about why the kid is actually being fussy. Then I ponder briefly that it's because the parent doesn't know how to discipline the child. Then I feel bad for the kid. Then I realize the kid's probably just uncomfortable or hungry or tired. Then I start realizing that I'm a little uncomfortable. Then I start to empathize with the kid. Then I realize that I wish I could be screaming too. Then... I am serene, and my heart fills with the goodness of the universe. I have once again come to the realization that I am a mature adult and have repressed my tantrums to the point where they only exert themselves through eye twitches and uncontrollable inner monologues (and sometimes dialogues).
Now that we're having a kid ourselves, I've started to ask what I would do differently than said struggling parent. I think I've come to appreciate the paradoxical parenting dictum that to have freedom you have to stick to a schedule. If the kid expects a nap at a certain time, and it doesn't arrive, it's like a balding man with a bad hairpiece. There's going to be hell toupee...
ahem...
As I was saying, it's going to be a bad situation. I think that most parents realize this, and the ones who are struggling on the bus have usually found themselves in some unavoidable scenario where they simply had to be out during tired time. This is going to be tricky for me, I know, because I tend to push myself for hours and hours past the point of being hungry and tired, and I somehow don't think our baby is going to be able to keep up. I'm sure his exacerbated screams keep me in check, though, if I don't keep his routines in check.
PS I am so happy to hear that the Amber Alert that was out across BC found a happy(ish) resolution.
http://www.theprovince.com/sparked+Amber+Alert+found+sleeping+Montana/7560464/story.html
My mind goes through a similar thought process each time I'm witnessing this. First I blame the parent. then I chastize myself for being so uncompassoinate. Then I start to wonder what it would be like if I was in that situation. Then I start to wonder about why the kid is actually being fussy. Then I ponder briefly that it's because the parent doesn't know how to discipline the child. Then I feel bad for the kid. Then I realize the kid's probably just uncomfortable or hungry or tired. Then I start realizing that I'm a little uncomfortable. Then I start to empathize with the kid. Then I realize that I wish I could be screaming too. Then... I am serene, and my heart fills with the goodness of the universe. I have once again come to the realization that I am a mature adult and have repressed my tantrums to the point where they only exert themselves through eye twitches and uncontrollable inner monologues (and sometimes dialogues).
Now that we're having a kid ourselves, I've started to ask what I would do differently than said struggling parent. I think I've come to appreciate the paradoxical parenting dictum that to have freedom you have to stick to a schedule. If the kid expects a nap at a certain time, and it doesn't arrive, it's like a balding man with a bad hairpiece. There's going to be hell toupee...
ahem...
As I was saying, it's going to be a bad situation. I think that most parents realize this, and the ones who are struggling on the bus have usually found themselves in some unavoidable scenario where they simply had to be out during tired time. This is going to be tricky for me, I know, because I tend to push myself for hours and hours past the point of being hungry and tired, and I somehow don't think our baby is going to be able to keep up. I'm sure his exacerbated screams keep me in check, though, if I don't keep his routines in check.
PS I am so happy to hear that the Amber Alert that was out across BC found a happy(ish) resolution.
http://www.theprovince.com/sparked+Amber+Alert+found+sleeping+Montana/7560464/story.html
RSS Feed
