There was a debate that went on for me for years while I was deciding if I wanted to have a kid. One of my favourite comedians, Doug Stanhope, encapsulates this debate well when he suggests that his greatest service to humanity was getting sterilized. In his view, the absolute last thing the world needs is another baby sucking up resources. He says if you want to do your bit, get the snip.
So, honestly, why didn't I? I know all about the biological drive to have a kid. It's actually pretty strong, and it's constantly being reinforced by the media, but I'm curious about what stories people tell themselves about why they want to have a kid. How do they resolve the debate about the fact that they might be adding some monster to the earth? Do people even think about it? Do they just have a kid because, and make up the story afterwards? Everybody thinks their kid is going to be an architect or doctor or whatever, but what about the other side -- the one you're not supposed to even joke about?
I know it sounds like I’m being particularly grim here, but it’s definitely not my intention. I just like to explore and share ideas. I like to look at things from all angles. I’m kind of fond of the idea, for example, that my kid will be able to add something to the world. I doubt I’m going to be a high-pressure pageant-dad or anything, not that they add anything besides magictime sparkledust anyway, but I would like to encourage my kid to be the most he or she can be, on his or her own terms.
Doug Stanhope definitely has a point, though, in his decision to forego children. Maybe the universe itself would be better off with humanity’s extinction. Then again, maybe it wouldn’t. I’ve clearly banked on the latter, not because I know I’m right, but because at some point you have to make a call. It’s true that my kid may just end up being a drain on the world’s already drained resources, but then again, it could be the person that ends up developing a clean energy technology that allows us to strike a better balance with nature. If I’m really lucky, my kid will be the next Doug Stanhope. That dude’s funny as hell.
So, honestly, why didn't I? I know all about the biological drive to have a kid. It's actually pretty strong, and it's constantly being reinforced by the media, but I'm curious about what stories people tell themselves about why they want to have a kid. How do they resolve the debate about the fact that they might be adding some monster to the earth? Do people even think about it? Do they just have a kid because, and make up the story afterwards? Everybody thinks their kid is going to be an architect or doctor or whatever, but what about the other side -- the one you're not supposed to even joke about?
I know it sounds like I’m being particularly grim here, but it’s definitely not my intention. I just like to explore and share ideas. I like to look at things from all angles. I’m kind of fond of the idea, for example, that my kid will be able to add something to the world. I doubt I’m going to be a high-pressure pageant-dad or anything, not that they add anything besides magictime sparkledust anyway, but I would like to encourage my kid to be the most he or she can be, on his or her own terms.
Doug Stanhope definitely has a point, though, in his decision to forego children. Maybe the universe itself would be better off with humanity’s extinction. Then again, maybe it wouldn’t. I’ve clearly banked on the latter, not because I know I’m right, but because at some point you have to make a call. It’s true that my kid may just end up being a drain on the world’s already drained resources, but then again, it could be the person that ends up developing a clean energy technology that allows us to strike a better balance with nature. If I’m really lucky, my kid will be the next Doug Stanhope. That dude’s funny as hell.
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