Did you ever have one of those days where nothing changes and everything changes?
Yesterday morning my wife came into the room and woke me up and said, "I think we need to go to the hospital." Not exactly the most pleasant start to the day. She was worried because she was spotting a little again, and we still didn't have a clear answer as to why. We packed up, hopped in the car, and headed out.
After about an hour's wait in the emergency room, they called her into the triage unit and decided to run some blood work to see what was going on. They also decided to do an early ultrasound, even though we're only at about five weeks and there wouldn't likely be much to see. They were basically checking to see if the baby was still there, which is a pretty scary place to be in for an expecting parent.
There I was, still in the waiting room, when I saw her poke her head round the corner and motion me to follow her. We made our way to a somewhat dingy ultrasound lab, where I was asked to wait (again) outside the privacy curtain while they did some tests. I remember staring at the wall, just praying that this turned out okay.
When they called me into the station, my gut told me it was good news (To be honest, I figured that they're not going to call you to come see your dead baby). I saw it on the screen immediately when I went in: the faintest little rhythmic flicker, right in the middle of the little black dot. It was my baby's heart beating. Holy. The first reaction for both my wife and me was immense relief. There are still no guarantees, but at least we know the baby's alive, and it's growing!
In a brief moment afterwards, I stood there outside the curtain and was overcome with an immense flood of happiness. I realized that the tiny flickering speck I saw on the screen was the heart of a person that I will care for and watch grow into a full-grown adult human being. This was definitely the moment where the fact of what's happening has felt the most real. Until now I've been excited in an abstract way, but now I feel so much more connected to the whole process. It turned out to be an amazing day!
Yesterday morning my wife came into the room and woke me up and said, "I think we need to go to the hospital." Not exactly the most pleasant start to the day. She was worried because she was spotting a little again, and we still didn't have a clear answer as to why. We packed up, hopped in the car, and headed out.
After about an hour's wait in the emergency room, they called her into the triage unit and decided to run some blood work to see what was going on. They also decided to do an early ultrasound, even though we're only at about five weeks and there wouldn't likely be much to see. They were basically checking to see if the baby was still there, which is a pretty scary place to be in for an expecting parent.
There I was, still in the waiting room, when I saw her poke her head round the corner and motion me to follow her. We made our way to a somewhat dingy ultrasound lab, where I was asked to wait (again) outside the privacy curtain while they did some tests. I remember staring at the wall, just praying that this turned out okay.
When they called me into the station, my gut told me it was good news (To be honest, I figured that they're not going to call you to come see your dead baby). I saw it on the screen immediately when I went in: the faintest little rhythmic flicker, right in the middle of the little black dot. It was my baby's heart beating. Holy. The first reaction for both my wife and me was immense relief. There are still no guarantees, but at least we know the baby's alive, and it's growing!
In a brief moment afterwards, I stood there outside the curtain and was overcome with an immense flood of happiness. I realized that the tiny flickering speck I saw on the screen was the heart of a person that I will care for and watch grow into a full-grown adult human being. This was definitely the moment where the fact of what's happening has felt the most real. Until now I've been excited in an abstract way, but now I feel so much more connected to the whole process. It turned out to be an amazing day!
RSS Feed
